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  Programmer jokes  (Read 11021 times)
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Offline BurntPizza

« JGO Bitwise Duke »


Medals: 271
Exp: 5 years



« Reply #90 - Posted 2014-06-23 22:47:05 »

Please re-hash that joke again... not salty enough yet.
Offline Roquen
« Reply #91 - Posted 2014-06-24 12:25:26 »

SYN-ACK
Online SHC
« Reply #92 - Posted 2014-06-24 16:00:07 »

Click to Play


His code gives you a IndexOutOfBounds Exception.

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int[] brain;

for (int i=0; i<=numBrainCells; i++)
{
    turnOn(brain[i]);
}

Aren't I smart?

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Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Online SHC
« Reply #93 - Posted 2014-06-24 16:14:16 »

This one from xkcd.com


Online SHC
« Reply #94 - Posted 2014-06-24 16:15:53 »

Another one from xkcd.com


Offline Drenius
« Reply #95 - Posted 2014-06-24 16:18:26 »

But enough of porting xkcd over here  Wink
Online SHC
« Reply #96 - Posted 2014-06-24 16:23:11 »

But enough of porting xkcd over here  Wink

Just wanted to share with you. They're very funny for me.

Offline pjt33
« Reply #97 - Posted 2014-06-24 16:59:13 »

His code gives you a IndexOutOfBounds Exception.
Not necessarily. You don't see where numBrainCells is set.
Offline opiop65

JGO Kernel


Medals: 159
Projects: 7
Exp: 3 years


JumpButton Studios


« Reply #98 - Posted 2014-06-24 17:00:55 »

Well the integer array, brain, was never initialized. So there's an NPE right there.

Offline Roquen
« Reply #99 - Posted 2014-06-27 11:27:53 »

http://randomascii.wordpress.com/2014/06/26/please-calculate-this-circles-circumference/
Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Offline Mike

« JGO Spiffy Duke »


Medals: 86
Projects: 1
Exp: 6 years


Java guru wanabee


« Reply #100 - Posted 2014-06-27 11:48:23 »


Thank God for Java! Smiley

Mike

My current game, Minecraft meets Farmville and goes online Smiley
State of Fortune | Discussion thread @ JGO
Offline PandaMoniumHUN

JGO Coder


Medals: 32
Exp: 3 years


White-bearded OGL wizard


« Reply #101 - Posted 2014-06-27 16:02:09 »

@derail on
And this is why I gave up on C++ after a few days of learning.
Well, didn't because of this exact example but because everything felt hacky, there was always 3-4 approaches to a single problem and there was constant debate over which option is better for the XYZ compiler, always pay attention to pass pointers and references instead of objects because they'll get passed by value by default, manage header and source files separately, etc. Ouch... It just felt so yesterday (no jokes, can't really describe it any better than that Tongue ) compared to modern languages like Java or Python. Clueless
Don't get me wrong, I can see it's benefits too but I don't think the extra amount of work you put in is worth that extra performance. Not for most of us at least. And if you want to go low-level (eg. to write drivers) you don't really have any other option to go with.
@derail off

My Blog | Jumpbutton Studio - INOP Programmer
Can't stress enough: Don't start game development until you haven't got the basics of programming down! Pointing
Offline m77

« In padded room »

« Reply #102 - Posted 2014-06-28 07:32:55 »

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=406210913162
Offline DarkCart

JGO Knight


Medals: 23
Projects: 7
Exp: 2 years


Power of the mind over flesh


« Reply #103 - Posted 2014-06-28 14:22:13 »


Play Mazer | Or visit Sticks | Or try out SJGL
Online SHC
« Reply #104 - Posted 2014-06-28 15:55:55 »

Java and C++ attempted a test in class.



P.S. This is my own creation.

Offline opiop65

JGO Kernel


Medals: 159
Projects: 7
Exp: 3 years


JumpButton Studios


« Reply #105 - Posted 2014-06-28 16:02:51 »

The E-- confused me for a minute until I realized that was a grade Tongue In the US the lowest letter grade you can receive in primary education is a F.

Online SHC
« Reply #106 - Posted 2014-06-28 16:06:12 »

The E-- confused me for a minute until I realized that was a grade Tongue In the US the lowest letter grade you can receive in primary education is a F.

I didn't know that. Here, our grades go from A to G. I've added ++ and -- just because it's related to languages.

Offline DarkCart

JGO Knight


Medals: 23
Projects: 7
Exp: 2 years


Power of the mind over flesh


« Reply #107 - Posted 2014-07-02 13:56:43 »


Play Mazer | Or visit Sticks | Or try out SJGL
Offline AppleSauce
« Reply #108 - Posted 2014-07-02 16:15:26 »

Offline DarkCart

JGO Knight


Medals: 23
Projects: 7
Exp: 2 years


Power of the mind over flesh


« Reply #109 - Posted 2014-07-26 19:36:44 »

(Sorry to start this thread up again)

Why did the Integer drown?
Because he couldn't
float
!



Play Mazer | Or visit Sticks | Or try out SJGL
Offline CptSpike

Senior Devvie


Medals: 8
Projects: 1



« Reply #110 - Posted 2014-07-26 20:22:15 »

(Sorry to start this thread up again)

Why did the Integer drown?
Because he couldn't
float
!




If only someone had
cast
him a lifeline
Offline CopyableCougar4
« Reply #111 - Posted 2014-07-26 20:33:08 »

Acronyms
CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

Source: http://www.devtopics.com/best-programming-jokes/

CopyableCougar4

Either wandering the forum or programming. Most likely the latter Smiley

Github: http://github.com/CopyableCougar4
Offline DarkCart

JGO Knight


Medals: 23
Projects: 7
Exp: 2 years


Power of the mind over flesh


« Reply #112 - Posted 2014-10-13 20:36:20 »

Here's another one from Fox Trot.


Play Mazer | Or visit Sticks | Or try out SJGL
Offline TehJavaDev

JGO Coder


Medals: 16
Projects: 3
Exp: 7-9 months


Java is so dope they wanna >:D


« Reply #113 - Posted 2014-10-13 22:57:54 »

“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
very long pause….
“Java.”

----------------------------
Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays.
----------------------------
Q: "Whats the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"

A: Inheritance
----------------------------
Why programmers like UNIX:

unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

----------------------------
Notes for people who don't know UNIX commands/think the above is a dirty irrelevant joke:
UNIX: fsck
UNIX: finger
UNIX: grep

Last joke overboard? persecutioncomplex
I'll delete or make a spoiler that's marked as 18+

Checkout my new easy to use java networking library: GNetLib
Online SHC
« Reply #114 - Posted 2014-10-28 17:02:09 »


Offline DarkCart

JGO Knight


Medals: 23
Projects: 7
Exp: 2 years


Power of the mind over flesh


« Reply #115 - Posted 2014-11-15 02:55:15 »



persecutioncomplex

Play Mazer | Or visit Sticks | Or try out SJGL
Offline DarkCart

JGO Knight


Medals: 23
Projects: 7
Exp: 2 years


Power of the mind over flesh


« Reply #116 - Posted 2014-11-18 20:01:26 »

(Sorry for the double post)

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var believe = 1966;

I'm A believe
var


If this joke makes no sense, watch this:

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/XfuBREMXxts?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;start=" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/XfuBREMXxts?version=3&amp;hl=en_US&amp;start=</a>

Play Mazer | Or visit Sticks | Or try out SJGL
Offline BurntPizza

« JGO Bitwise Duke »


Medals: 271
Exp: 5 years



« Reply #117 - Posted 2014-11-18 21:11:50 »

Not really a joke, but this is valid code:

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// the face of disapproval
public static void ಠ_ಠ(String s) {
    throw new Error(s);
}


Useful for all your exception handling needs!


http://kutruff.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/using-%E0%B2%A0_%E0%B2%A0-to-throw-exceptions/
Offline HeroesGraveDev

JGO Kernel


Medals: 283
Projects: 11
Exp: 3 years


┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


« Reply #118 - Posted 2014-11-18 21:19:32 »

You can replace some semicolons (;) in a project with greek question marks (;) and watch people try to hunt down the syntax errors they cause.

(Source: https://twitter.com/peterritchie/status/534011965132120064)

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