Drenius
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Reply #30 - Posted
2014-03-19 20:38:32 » |
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Or a short! (no idea about English, but it is senseful in German...)
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Riven
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Reply #31 - Posted
2014-03-19 20:55:06 » |
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Can you serve me a drink while I shift in this char? - Sure, but it might overflow a bit.  |
Hi, appreciate more people! Σ ♥ = ¾ Learn how to award medals... and work your way up the social rankings! |
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Drenius
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Reply #32 - Posted
2014-03-19 21:01:49 » |
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Let the medals begin...
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Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
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Riven
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Reply #33 - Posted
2014-03-19 21:02:51 » |
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I'm hopeless. I'd much rather feed this thread to the chitchat monster, than to get my medals from this kind of crap  |
Hi, appreciate more people! Σ ♥ = ¾ Learn how to award medals... and work your way up the social rankings! |
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Drenius
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Reply #34 - Posted
2014-03-19 21:03:21 » |
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No, its a good thread.
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saucymeatman
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Reply #35 - Posted
2014-03-19 21:29:21 » |
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I'm hopeless. I'd much rather feed this thread to the chitchat monster, than to get my medals from this kind of crap Well spoken, +1 |
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theagentd
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Reply #36 - Posted
2014-03-20 00:29:49 » |
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It's okay, Riven. I can just hold all those medals for you if they're so heavy.  |
Myomyomyo.
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DrHalfway
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Reply #37 - Posted
2014-03-20 02:39:07 » |
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99 little bugs in the code
99 bugs in the code
Fix one bug, compile it again
101 little bugs in the code.
101 little bugs in the code
101 bugs in the code
Fix one bug, compile it again,
103 little bugs in the code.
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Gibbo3771
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Reply #38 - Posted
2014-03-20 07:34:14 » |
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2 bytes walk into a bar, the bartender says, "what can I get you guys?".
"Make us a double!".
Wouldn't that be two floats? Wouldn't sound right lol |
"This code works flawlessly first time and exactly how I wanted it"
Said no programmer ever |
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Roquen
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Reply #39 - Posted
2014-03-20 08:45:48 » |
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| public void printJokes()
{
java.util.Random rng = java.util.concurrent.ThreadLocalRandom.current();
for(Book book : books) {
String title = book.title.toLowerCase();
int ha = 0;
if (title.contains("best")) ha++;
if (title.contains("modular")) ha++;
if (title.contains("teach yourself")) ha++;
if (title.contains("learn to")) ha++;
if (title.contains("agile")) ha++;
if (title.contains("extreme")) ha++;
if (title.contains("wicked")) ha += 2;
if (title.contains("cool")) ha += 2;
if (title.contains("hardcore")) ha += 2;
if (title.contains("expert")) ha += 2;
if (title.contains("killer")) ha += 2;
if (title.contains("awesome")) ha += 3;
if (title.contains("days")) ha += 7;
if (title.contains("weeks")) ha += 6;
if (title.contains("like a pro")) ha += 2;
if (title.contains("by example")) ha++;
if (title.contains("with examples")) ha++;
if (title.contains("software engineering")) ha++;
if (title.contains("patterns")) ha++;
if (ha != 0) {
int first = ha <= 3 ? ha : ha-3;
int last = ha-first;
String joke = book.title + "? ";
do {
while(first != 0) {
joke += "ha";
if (rng.nextBoolean()) joke += "! ";
first--;
}
joke += "!";
if (last != 0) {
joke += " Stop! You're killing me!";
first = last;
last = 0;
} else break;
} while(true);
System.out.println(joke);
}
}
} |
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Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
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Oskuro
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Reply #40 - Posted
2014-03-20 14:51:41 » |
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A Java Programmer, a C++ Programmer and a Pascal Programmer walk into a bar.
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Riven
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Reply #41 - Posted
2014-03-20 18:52:41 » |
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A Java Programmer, a C++ Programmer and a Pascal Programmer walk into a bar.
It's funny because it's the JCP in action. * Riven runs |
Hi, appreciate more people! Σ ♥ = ¾ Learn how to award medals... and work your way up the social rankings! |
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JVallius
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Reply #43 - Posted
2014-03-24 11:43:06 » |
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matheus23
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Reply #44 - Posted
2014-03-25 17:55:42 » |
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A blind man is standing at the traffic light. Next to him there's a programmer. The blind man asks the programmer: "Is the traffic light red, yellow or green?" (We have those colors in germany/europe). The programmer answers "Yes.".  |
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SHC
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Reply #45 - Posted
2014-03-26 05:36:16 » |
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SHC
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Reply #46 - Posted
2014-03-26 05:38:44 » |
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A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."
The man below replies, "You must work in management."
"I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?"*
"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."
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SHC
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Reply #47 - Posted
2014-03-26 05:53:00 » |
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| public class Foo
{
public static void bar()
{
System.out.println("Hello World!");
}
public static void main(String[] args)
{
Foo.bar();
}
} |
A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says "Hello World!" |
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Drenius
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Reply #48 - Posted
2014-03-27 21:07:09 » |
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A foo walks into a bar, takes a look around and says "Hello World!" Answer: "0" |
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kpars
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Reply #49 - Posted
2014-03-28 07:39:09 » |
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I made this gem earlier:  - Jev |
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jonjava
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Reply #50 - Posted
2014-04-01 19:01:51 » |
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<![CDATA[<a href="http://www.youtube.com/v/BKorP55Aqvg?version=3&hl=en_US&start=" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/v/BKorP55Aqvg?version=3&hl=en_US&start=</a>]]>
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SHC
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Reply #51 - Posted
2014-04-30 16:08:25 » |
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"Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?"
"No..."
"Inheritance."
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Riven
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Reply #52 - Posted
2014-04-30 20:12:03 » |
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On that note, I dare every programmer here to look in the mirror and tell me your reflection isn't ugly. (and still you love modeling)  |
Hi, appreciate more people! Σ ♥ = ¾ Learn how to award medals... and work your way up the social rankings! |
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BurntPizza
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Reply #53 - Posted
2014-04-30 21:11:17 » |
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On that note, I dare every programmer here to look in the mirror and tell me your reflection isn't ugly.
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| fname.setAccessible(true);
int mods = fname.getModifiers();
Field modF = fname.getClass().getDeclaredField("modifiers");
mods = mods & ~Modifier.FINAL;
modF.setAccessible(true);
modF.setInt(fname, mods); |
Yep, damn ugly. |
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Slyth2727
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Reply #54 - Posted
2014-05-05 11:15:12 » |
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| public void toMyMadness() {
beCrazy();
} |
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Was I before Chuang Tzu who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being Chuang Tzu?
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theagentd
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Reply #55 - Posted
2014-05-05 12:10:49 » |
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On that note, I dare every programmer here to look in the mirror and tell me your reflection isn't ugly.
I once wrote a simple script parser for a visual novel engine thingy, and I used reflection to map script called functions to Java functions. The only ugly part was that I had to change all function arguments that had primitive types to use wrapper classes instead (int input ---> Integer input). That was IMHO one of the coolest things I've ever done. >_> |
Myomyomyo.
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ags1
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Reply #56 - Posted
2014-05-05 22:05:05 » |
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public void mirror(FacialConfiguration face) throws CrackedMirrorException {
if (face.isProgrammer() && !face.isAgs()) {
throw new CrackedMirrorException();
}
throw new VanityOverflowException(); //unchecked
}
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BurntPizza
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Reply #57 - Posted
2014-05-05 22:07:09 » |
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public void mirror(FacialConfiguration face) throws CrackedMirrorException {
if (face.isProgrammer() && !face.isAgs()) {
throw new CrackedMirrorException();
}
throw new VanityOverflowException(); //unchecked
}
Your vanity goes unchecked! |
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DarkCart
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Reply #58 - Posted
2014-05-05 22:10:44 » |
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A student hands his programming task to the teacher. The teacher says "I'm (EDIT) 8K in and have no idea what you're saying"
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Riven
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Reply #59 - Posted
2014-05-05 22:19:22 » |
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The teacher says "I'm 8K in and have no idea what you're saying"
There, FTFY. |
Hi, appreciate more people! Σ ♥ = ¾ Learn how to award medals... and work your way up the social rankings! |
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