Java-Gaming.org    
Featured games (79)
games approved by the League of Dukes
Games in Showcase (477)
Games in Android Showcase (107)
games submitted by our members
Games in WIP (535)
games currently in development
News: Read the Java Gaming Resources, or peek at the official Java tutorials
 
    Home     Help   Search   Login   Register   
Pages: [1] 2
  ignore  |  Print  
  Family problems because of programming?  (Read 2624 times)
0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.
Offline Jacob Pickens
« Posted 2014-03-10 01:31:33 »

I personally have a few.

My dad, expecting a big strong jock of a son, was left with a computer nerd. You could imagine how he would be a little bit dissapointed.

I constantly am trying to show him that what I do is important and is an art all of its own, but it seems every feeble attempt I try to show him that game development is fascinating it seems to hinder my chances of actually interesting him. Tongue

So, does anyone else have problems similar to this? Just wondering since I'm incredibly bored... as usual and want some discussion. Tongue

EDIT: No I'm not asking for therapy. I just want some interesting, 'programing' related discussion to keep me occupied for the next few minutes.
Offline opiop65

JGO Kernel


Medals: 153
Projects: 7
Exp: 3 years


JumpButton Studios


« Reply #1 - Posted 2014-03-10 01:36:01 »

Nope, my parents support me and think its awesome. Of course, my parents also do play role playing games and are book nerds but you know... It sucks, sorry! However its not your problem if he can't get over the fact that he has a smart son rather than a meaty jock. Let's face it, most jocks arent book worms and don't know much besides sports and what's currently happening in sports. Not to say they are dumb, ignorance doesn't mean you have a low IQ, but I couldn't imagine living with a jockey dad who only talks about sports... I get sick of it at school as it is!

Offline Jacob Pickens
« Reply #2 - Posted 2014-03-10 01:48:10 »

Opiop65 gets a medal so that his medals are 100 instead of just 99 Tongue
Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Offline opiop65

JGO Kernel


Medals: 153
Projects: 7
Exp: 3 years


JumpButton Studios


« Reply #3 - Posted 2014-03-10 01:49:41 »

I appreciate you kind person, now let me go have a little party by myself as I celebrate my internet fame!

Offline Rayvolution

JGO Kernel


Medals: 147
Projects: 2
Exp: 1 year


Resident Crazyman


« Reply #4 - Posted 2014-03-10 01:52:51 »

I personally have a few.

My dad, expecting a big strong jock of a son, was left with a computer nerd. You could imagine how he would be a little bit dissapointed.

I constantly am trying to show him that what I do is important and is an art all of its own, but it seems every feeble attempt I try to show him that game development is fascinating it seems to hinder my chances of actually interesting him. Tongue

So, does anyone else have problems similar to this? Just wondering since I'm incredibly bored... as usual and want some discussion. Tongue

EDIT: No I'm not asking for therapy. I just want some interesting, 'programing' related discussion to keep me occupied for the next few minutes.

As a 29 year old who is old enough to possibly be close to your dad's age, has had a lot more life experience than most people twice his age, *and* is majoring in Psychology with leaps and bounds more knowledge on how the brain works than the average person, My solution: Do what makes you happy and tell your dad to f**k off (or, don't actually tell him to f**k off. But just just give in to parental expectations for gender roles)

Your dad shouldn't be "expecting" you to do "manly things". That is unhealthy to force you to have hobbies you don't want and do not benefit you. If you don't like sports, he should accept that. You should not be expected to do "manly" things because that's expected of you, that's what makes societal sheep and muffles social progress. He should be respecting your intellectual pursuits. Programming skills are a lot more valuable than how far you can throw a pig skinned ball. You may not realize it now, but your brain will thank you for the logic skills you are gaining today. Not to mention the insurmountably large health benefits.

Your dad should be proud of you for what you're doing, not disappointed in you for not doing what "boys" should be doing. Trust me, what you're doing now is a lot more beneficial to you in your future. Even if you don't become a programmer, at your age, learning logic and problem solving skills like you're getting with programming is leaps and bounds more valuable than anything (and I do many anything) else you could be doing.

So, while you should respect your parents, your parents should also respect you. As long as you're not doing anything that will harm you now or in the future, it shouldn't matter what you do. If I had a kid, I would love the fact he's programming at such a young age, it goes into a massive amount of more detail than is worth going into, but the long term side effects of having complicated hobbies like programming at a young age will make you a mentally-stronger person for the rest of your life.

..and that's my rant for today. Tongue

EDIT: I r fix typos

- Raymond "Rayvolution" Doerr.
Retro-Pixel Castles - Survival Sim/Builder/Roguelike!
LIVE-STREAMING DEVELOPMENT: http://www.twitch.tv/SG_Rayvolution
Offline ctomni231

JGO Wizard


Medals: 98
Projects: 1
Exp: 7 years


Not a glitch. Just have a lil' pixelexia...


« Reply #5 - Posted 2014-03-10 01:56:10 »

Funny, my dad was totally un-supportive of what I did as well.

He was a nerd in school himself, majoring being a scientist. However, to him, the only jobs that have any meaning is ones that have to do with the government, and the rest can go drown in a lake. I don't know, I have always had a very creative mind and always just ignored what he thought and moved on anyway. Computer Science has its own rewards and it has allowed me to meet some very interesting people.

In the end, I realized, it is about me and what I have a passion for. If my family members don't support it, that isn't their future, it is my own. I have to be happy with the future I want for myself. Creating, building, and developing games wasn't really a dream of mine when I started. But, now that I'm doing it, I feel so happy for being part of the world of Computer Science.

Huh? Is that the steamroller I hear in the distance, better keep on moving ahead then...

Offline SwordsMiner

Senior Member


Medals: 2
Projects: 2
Exp: 1 year


Head of the Indie Developing team Revereor.


« Reply #6 - Posted 2014-03-10 02:04:46 »

Nope. My parents praise me for not being as, well as they word it, not as smart as they were when they were my age. So im golden!  Grin

- The one and only, SwordsMiner.
Offline HeroesGraveDev

JGO Kernel


Medals: 238
Projects: 11
Exp: 2 years


┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


« Reply #7 - Posted 2014-03-10 05:41:01 »

If he's not happy, he's just going to have to deal with it.

It could be worse. There are plenty of less 'manly' things one could do. Programming is actually quite high up on the list of 'manly' hobbies (and this is kind-of causing issues, but that's a topic that I'd rather leave alone).

Relying on physical strength your whole life is not a viable option. Your brain will last longer than your body.
That said, enjoy having a strong body while you can.

The best way to convince someone like this is to compromise somewhere that won't stop you from programming. I wish I kept playing sports when I was around your age, because now I want to, and I can't because I no longer have the adequate skills.

If you can do some sort of sport and get your dad involved, that would definitely be a great solution.

Sorry that this post was all over the place.

(Off-topic: I ruined opiop65's 100th-medal party. I regret nothing.)

Offline opiop65

JGO Kernel


Medals: 153
Projects: 7
Exp: 3 years


JumpButton Studios


« Reply #8 - Posted 2014-03-10 05:44:11 »

Damn you Heroes, I was going to have a nice party!... I had a nice salad and some party music all set up but no one showed Sad Odd... Guess no one else knows I'm internet famous!

Offline Jacob Pickens
« Reply #9 - Posted 2014-03-10 05:45:42 »

Now your one step closer to your 200 medals party. Wink
Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Online Roquen
« Reply #10 - Posted 2014-03-10 07:32:10 »

Hell I'm probably old enough to be your grandfather.  Note one...presumably you have a computer so there's some support.  Note two...being able to program is a profitable skill even if you're mediocre, while being a jock pretty much only is if you're excellent.  Note 3...balanced physical, social and mental "exercise" is good for you.  I've never met in academia or the real world excellent programmers that fit any stereotypical notion of nerdy/geeky/dorky.
Offline Grunnt

JGO Wizard


Medals: 66
Projects: 8
Exp: 5 years


Complex != complicated


« Reply #11 - Posted 2014-03-10 08:32:00 »

Here, I found this piece I read yesterday somewhat related and worth a read:
'I was bullied and beaten every day. Programming saved my life'

Not to say that this is applicable in your situation but the general message I agree with: do what you like, become good at it, and be damn proud of it!

My parents didnt really care about computers but were ok with it and supported me doing what I want to do (I got a lot of brothers & sisters so I guess by the time they got to me they unlearnt to have specific expectations). I count myself lucky.

Offline Gibbo3771
« Reply #12 - Posted 2014-03-10 08:41:25 »

I live with my fiance atm, at first she was bitching something rotten because on my days off and the weekend I would sit at the computer 0700-0300 without rely talking to her, reading, forum browsing, coding etc.

I've made more time now but my progress is defo hampered by it.

However after having a talk with her, she needs to understand that if I don't study and practice, I'll be working in McDonald's by the time I am 25.

"This code works flawlessly first time and exactly how I wanted it"
Said no programmer ever
Offline Grunnt

JGO Wizard


Medals: 66
Projects: 8
Exp: 5 years


Complex != complicated


« Reply #13 - Posted 2014-03-10 09:14:42 »

I live with my fiance atm, at first she was bitching something rotten because on my days off and the weekend I would sit at the computer 0700-0300 without rely talking to her, reading, forum browsing, coding etc.

I've made more time now but my progress is defo hampered by it.

However after having a talk with her, she needs to understand that if I don't study and practice, I'll be working in McDonald's by the time I am 25.

If I would do that my gf would kick me out of the house, and I cant say I would blame her. There's a certain balance to be maintained: I you dont study and practice you'll fail at work. If you dont invest a lot of time and effort into your relationship you will fail at home. Im pretty sure that failing at home will be much, much worse in the long term. Its very well possible to both spend a lot of quality time and to have concentrated dev / study sessions if you manage your time well.

Offline aldacron

Senior Member


Medals: 9
Exp: 16 years


Java games rock!


« Reply #14 - Posted 2014-03-10 09:23:37 »

I first took an interest in programming in the early 80s, when I was 9 or 10 years old. At the time, my parents didn't think I could be serious about it (I wanted to program games, of course) so couldn't really justify the expense of a new computer. We weren't very well off at all and computers were a significant expense back then. So I had no support whatsoever. I had a few opportunities now and again to bang out some very short Basic programs (at Sears or Radio Shack, or my uncle's house), but never any chance to do anything beyond that. It took a while, but that eventually killed my interest and I moved on to other things. I didn't get my first computer until I was almost 29. That rekindled the flame and I jumped into Java 1.1 right away.

I say this because I wish I only had the problem that my father thought it wasn't a manly thing to do! With computers and access to information as ubiquitous as they are these days, more young people in the industrialized world have amazing opportunities to learn things that were well beyond reach for a majority of kids in my generation. There are still a lot of place in the world where they don't, but that is shrinking every year. Whatever your father thinks of programming, at least he isn't trying to prevent you from doing it.

That said, I did have issues with my wife for a while. When we first got married, it took quite a bit of time and effort to find a balance between my programming pursuits, work and family life. Somewhere along the way, things worked out and it stopped being a major issue, but there can still be times when I'm sitting in front of the screen at 1 am and torn between getting to the root of some bug and going to bed. So I don't think conflict between programming and family ever really goes away completely -- it just changes form. As a hobby, it's really, really time consuming and demands a great deal of focus and attention, so there's always bound to be conflict of some sort.
Offline Varkas
« Reply #15 - Posted 2014-03-10 11:05:38 »

So, does anyone else have problems similar to this? Just wondering since I'm incredibly bored... as usual and want some discussion. Tongue

A long time every free minute went into game development. It didn't pay off and left me with the feeling that I missed a good part of my life, particularly in an age when life seems best.

It caused all sorts of problems, and was, together with other reaons, a source for serious depression problems, which are still bothering me.

Family problems - well I missed the right time to found my own family, and my siblings told me "you're crazy", but well ... it was more or less accepted. I still think it was a bad idea, and since years I'm trying to find a better balance between my hobby projects and non-computer activities.


if (error) throw new Brick(); // Blog (german): http://gedankenweber.wordpress.com
Offline Troubleshoots

JGO Knight


Medals: 36
Exp: 7-9 months


Damn maths.


« Reply #16 - Posted 2014-03-10 11:05:54 »

As a 29 year old who is old enough to possibly be close to your dad's age...
Sorry you made me chuckle. Are you trying to say something there?

I live with my fiance atm, at first she was bitching something rotten because on my days off and the weekend I would sit at the computer 0700-0300 without rely talking to her, reading, forum browsing, coding etc.

I've made more time now but my progress is defo hampered by it.

However after having a talk with her, she needs to understand that if I don't study and practice, I'll be working in McDonald's by the time I am 25.

If I would do that my gf would kick me out of the house, and I cant say I would blame her.
I can't tell if you're talking about sitting at the computer 7 till 3 or working in McDonalds.

OT: If you don't have family problems, you don't have a family, but then again, you probably still have family problems.

Why are all OpenGL tutorials written in Brainf**k?
Offline Grunnt

JGO Wizard


Medals: 66
Projects: 8
Exp: 5 years


Complex != complicated


« Reply #17 - Posted 2014-03-10 11:09:59 »

I can't tell if you're talking about sitting at the computer 7 till 3 or working in McDonalds.

Haha, I was referring to the former Grin

Offline Slyth2727
« Reply #18 - Posted 2014-03-10 23:37:47 »

    In the beginning my parents were totally freaked out because I suddenly cut off all social interraction because I was so into coding. Later, I realized how much of a fool I was being so I spend more time "socializing" now, but certainly more time coding. My father, who was the big lacrosse star as well as very popular and had all the girls and whatnot, was visibly dissapointed in me. I played lacrosse because he wanted me to, and he knew it, however I kept playing because of that and because I had to get some exercise. The sport in my area has a despicable attitude, they're sexist, racist, and take any chance they have to act "macho 'n shit", even though they are failing in school. [/rant]

     Well eventually my father accepted that that was who I was, and since then he has supported me, even if I bore the crap out of him talking about some bug I fixed or some new thing I created. It's really nice Smiley. Honestly you need to tell him, "This is who I am, get used to it. Maybe you wanted some big sports star or muscley jock, but you're not getting that from me." and make sure he really gets it. Good luck Smiley

      I mean the bottom line is, most everyone like us goes through pretty much the same thing even if it's in different situations. We know how you feel man.

Was I before Chuang Tzu who dreamt about being a butterfly, or am I now a butterfly who dreams about being Chuang Tzu?
Offline saucymeatman
« Reply #19 - Posted 2014-03-13 00:14:38 »

So, does anyone else have problems similar to this?
Yea.

Offline Gibbo3771
« Reply #20 - Posted 2014-03-13 07:49:52 »


*Description of every American movie ever*
 

Am I the only person that thinks this story reeks of the American teenage boy stereotype that appears in quite a few movies?

"This code works flawlessly first time and exactly how I wanted it"
Said no programmer ever
Offline Grunnt

JGO Wizard


Medals: 66
Projects: 8
Exp: 5 years


Complex != complicated


« Reply #21 - Posted 2014-03-13 09:19:04 »

Am I the only person that thinks this story reeks of the American teenage boy stereotype that appears in quite a few movies?

Yeah its somewhat funny how movies sometimes loosely refer to events that actually occur. Wink

Online Roquen
« Reply #22 - Posted 2014-03-13 09:55:46 »

Well I had no problems with programming.  My parents wanted me to be a tenure tracked prof preferably winning a few notable prizes and having a low Erdos number.  They were thrilled when I was in my room programming instead of hanging out with my undesirable friends...of course the parents of my undesirable friends were happy as well as their kids weren't with me.
Offline JVallius
« Reply #23 - Posted 2014-03-13 18:08:48 »

My wife, daughter and cats are bugging me when I debug.  persecutioncomplex
Offline Grunnt

JGO Wizard


Medals: 66
Projects: 8
Exp: 5 years


Complex != complicated


« Reply #24 - Posted 2014-03-13 21:41:10 »

Lucky you Wink

Offline StumpyStrust
« Reply #25 - Posted 2014-03-13 22:22:08 »

I came out of my cave once and found that my entire family had been dead for 40+ years. Just bones. I guess that when you are so focused on something you don't see the other important things in your life.

 Tongue

Offline Gibbo3771
« Reply #26 - Posted 2014-03-14 06:29:16 »

I came out of my cave once and found that my entire family had been dead for 40+ years. Just bones. I guess that when you are so focused on something you don't see the other important things in your life.

 Tongue

Fs Lol, it's funny but at the same time true and sad.

"This code works flawlessly first time and exactly how I wanted it"
Said no programmer ever
Offline gouessej
« Reply #27 - Posted 2014-03-15 10:22:29 »

Guess no one else knows I'm internet famous!
You can be famous and feel very lonely. The fame isn't a warranty of an happy life.

Offline opiop65

JGO Kernel


Medals: 153
Projects: 7
Exp: 3 years


JumpButton Studios


« Reply #28 - Posted 2014-03-15 13:52:51 »

It was a joke gouessej, I'm not famous and I intend to stay that way.

Offline SHC
« Reply #29 - Posted 2014-03-15 14:33:01 »

..... I'm not famous .....

Really??  Huh

Pages: [1] 2
  ignore  |  Print  
 
 

 

Add your game by posting it in the WIP section,
or publish it in Showcase.

The first screenshot will be displayed as a thumbnail.

Riven (5 views)
2014-07-29 18:09:19

Riven (4 views)
2014-07-29 18:08:52

Dwinin (7 views)
2014-07-29 10:59:34

E.R. Fleming (23 views)
2014-07-29 03:07:13

E.R. Fleming (9 views)
2014-07-29 03:06:25

pw (39 views)
2014-07-24 01:59:36

Riven (39 views)
2014-07-23 21:16:32

Riven (26 views)
2014-07-23 21:07:15

Riven (28 views)
2014-07-23 20:56:16

ctomni231 (59 views)
2014-07-18 06:55:21
HotSpot Options
by dleskov
2014-07-08 03:59:08

Java and Game Development Tutorials
by SwordsMiner
2014-06-14 00:58:24

Java and Game Development Tutorials
by SwordsMiner
2014-06-14 00:47:22

How do I start Java Game Development?
by ra4king
2014-05-17 11:13:37

HotSpot Options
by Roquen
2014-05-15 09:59:54

HotSpot Options
by Roquen
2014-05-06 15:03:10

Escape Analysis
by Roquen
2014-04-29 22:16:43

Experimental Toys
by Roquen
2014-04-28 13:24:22
java-gaming.org is not responsible for the content posted by its members, including references to external websites, and other references that may or may not have a relation with our primarily gaming and game production oriented community. inquiries and complaints can be sent via email to the info‑account of the company managing the website of java‑gaming.org
Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.18 | SMF © 2013, Simple Machines | Managed by Enhanced Four Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!