This probably could fit in with networking, but this more abstract design oriented than hard code.
Seems the best place is here

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However, I would like to do this without a server so getting all the
Um, you want a lobby-server system without a server?

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Seriously, why do you want to do that? e.g. this is impossible on the internet, since you will need to broadcast your **** (that's what the network owners will call it the first time you start ping-flooding their nets) over everywhere to find your servers - unless you use a global standard locator service, which itself probably uses servers, or have some kind of centralized locator - in other words, a server

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Obviously, if this is only for LAN play, then you can spam the network all you want (unless you don't actually own it, in which case you might still get into trouble...)
players into a list would be difficult. I know with RMI there is a registry, which is basically a phonebook with all the active machines, is there something like that in the regular networking api?
Arguably, RMI *is* the "regular networking". Unless you're using J2ME or similar. It is part of J2SE...
Certainly, there is nothing else in J2SE (it would be duplication of effort

). RMI is technically part of a DOA = distributed object architecture.
I doubt RMI's quite what you want though - unless you have other reasons for using RMI anyway. If you don't, then it's kind of like using a sledgehammer on a small nail; yes, it works fine - but it's way more than you need for the job

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