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  Programmer jokes  (Read 121440 times)
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Offline nsigma
« Reply #210 - Posted 2017-02-05 18:50:51 »

Psssssst! beat ya!  Grin

Praxis LIVE - hybrid visual IDE for (live) creative coding
Offline DarkCart

JGO Kernel


Medals: 121
Projects: 9
Exp: 50 years


It's all in the mind, y'know.


« Reply #211 - Posted 2017-02-05 19:20:52 »

Both of you got beat out by m77, who posted that video nearly 2 years ago.

The darkest of carts.
Offline ClaasJG

JGO Coder


Medals: 42



« Reply #212 - Posted 2017-04-24 19:29:38 »

https://twitter.com/bobrossgamedev

My english has to be tweaked. Please show me my mistakes.
Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Offline theagentd
« Reply #213 - Posted 2017-04-24 23:53:28 »

Quote
Sorry, but even I don't have any advice on how to make UI design fun.

Hahahahahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha... Haha... Ha..... Ha....... Q___Q

Myomyomyo.
Offline Oskuro

JGO Ninja


Medals: 73
Exp: 10 years


Coding in Style


« Reply #214 - Posted 2017-05-19 13:28:46 »

Titled "Every StackOverflow Thread Ever"

It's missing the "Rather than address your specific question I'll rant about why you shouldn't do what you're trying to do... regardless of how much you explain why you must do it"

Offline ClaasJG

JGO Coder


Medals: 42



« Reply #215 - Posted 2017-05-20 13:35:14 »

http://www.stilldrinking.org/programming-sucks

My english has to be tweaked. Please show me my mistakes.
Online SHC
« Reply #216 - Posted 2017-05-21 06:24:57 »


Just stop drinking and you'll find it beautiful again. Programming is just a way of expressing your thoughts and getting the computer do what you want.

Offline ClaasJG

JGO Coder


Medals: 42



« Reply #217 - Posted 2017-05-21 18:46:00 »

I enjoy sunshine and programming but lost my hobby since I am doing it at work :/

My english has to be tweaked. Please show me my mistakes.
Offline Oskuro

JGO Ninja


Medals: 73
Exp: 10 years


Coding in Style


« Reply #218 - Posted 2017-05-22 08:52:18 »

Programming professionally makes me enjoy programming my own projects more.

Simply because in my projects I can do whatever I want, while at work I have to keep it within certain guidelines!

Offline noonnopii

Innocent Bystander


Exp: 1 year



« Reply #219 - Posted 2017-06-08 13:25:04 »

lol same for me, since it is not unusual in my life Tongue
Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Offline philfrei
« Reply #220 - Posted 2017-06-26 05:16:10 »

Not jokes, but programmer-related humor (loosely defined).

Caption in search of a cartoon:

The Hunchback of Code Domains

(Has it been used before? Or something similar? Feeling somewhat Quasimodo-like after hunching over keyboard for long hours.)

Also, had an idea for a game, inspired by my wife, called "Die Fly! Die!"

Avatar runs around apartment interior armed with either swatter, rolled up newspaper, shoe, trying to kill fly or flies that came in when letting the cat out. Points for flies killed (time-based), negative points for furniture destroyed, walls marred, etc.

music and music apps: http://adonax.com
Offline FabulousFellini
« Reply #221 - Posted 2017-08-21 18:11:59 »

INSERT jokeAboutTheEclipse INTO Programmer_jokes WHERE date IS NOW();

-FabulousFellini
www.fabulousfellini.com
Offline Riven
Administrator

« JGO Overlord »


Medals: 1324
Projects: 4
Exp: 16 years


Hand over your head.


« Reply #222 - Posted 2017-08-21 20:45:40 »

INSERT jokeAboutTheEclipse INTO Programmer_jokes WHERE date IS NOW();
INSERT ... WHERE ... 
?

Conditional inserts? This joke has too many layers Pointing

Hi, appreciate more people! Σ ♥ = ¾
Learn how to award medals... and work your way up the social rankings!
Offline FabulousFellini
« Reply #223 - Posted 2017-08-21 20:51:17 »

Yeah I'm not too good with SQL.  Most use it to grab info, not insert it!

-FabulousFellini
www.fabulousfellini.com
Offline Icecore
« Reply #224 - Posted 2017-08-22 13:29:08 »

Conditional inserts? This joke has too many layers Pointing
Do you know the differences between good Manager and bad?
Good knows that his coworkers are idiots and makes mistakes (bugs) all over the time,
He know their strengths and weaknesses,
And he accept them as they are, without trying to change them

Not a joke – dirty Reality XD

Last known State: Reassembled in Cyberspace
End Transmission....
..
.
Offline KaiHH

JGO Kernel


Medals: 481



« Reply #225 - Posted 2017-08-22 13:52:53 »

Quote
Good knows that his coworkers are idiots and makes mistakes (bugs) all over the time
That's an awful description.
Quote
And he accept them as they are, without trying to change them
That's also not true. I suggest you read at least Tom DeMarco's "Peopleware: Productive Projects and Teams".
A good manager encourages people to improve themselves. Of course not by blaming them for their errors but by establishing an environment in which errors are accepted (and to some degree, encouraged) and then giving them hints on how they can improve and to learn from themselves.

- also not a joke but lived reality in some client companies I know (too few however).
Offline Icecore
« Reply #226 - Posted 2017-08-22 14:11:10 »

Quote
Good knows that his coworkers are idiots and makes mistakes (bugs) all over the time
That's an awful description.
From perspective of Manager:
- Programmer that write code with bugs is idiot “didn't he see that he make a bug” =)

Quote
And he accept them as they are, without trying to change them
A good manager encourages people to improve themselves. Of course not by blaming them for their errors but by establishing an environment in which errors are accepted (and to some degree, encouraged) and then giving them hints on how they can improve and to learn from themselves.
And did you really want that some manager (not programmer)
Will try to teach you how to program better and make more quality code (product) XD
(and many of them do, do this all over the time ^^)

((Yes, yes if you work in big company and have QA department with 50+ ppl
– they check code and add errors to bug tracker when after couple months someone will try to fix them..
But what if you have only 10- ppl at All Wink))

p.s I fears you can’t understand me, because we live in different realities: 2 ppl can also be a company
(and you can’t hire best of the best because they go in bigger companies and you simple don’t have money on them)

UP pp.s
Even best-of the best:
may spend plenty of working time on some nonsense like watch videos, sitting in facebook, reddit etc..

Can I call them Idiots? – Yes I can.
When they have work, they spend time on some nonsense, and later crying that they not finished work in time

This is where:
He know their strengths and weaknesses
Is important: you know that you’re coworkers spend half working day on non work nonsense.
You planning Terms and Milestones with this offset.

Dirty reality:
And if you work in Big company where you have 50+ ppl on 1 position
If some of workers spend more time than manager think its needed
– it's fired in no time, and on next day new person works on his place
No one will even try to understand you, or teach you something.
Because it's extra expenses – And business didn't like extra expenses.

Last known State: Reassembled in Cyberspace
End Transmission....
..
.
Offline abcdef
« Reply #227 - Posted 2017-08-23 12:56:11 »

Tell me where you work because I never want to work there!! My experience of working in IT is more like how KaiHH describes it.
Offline Icecore
« Reply #228 - Posted 2017-08-23 21:44:55 »

Tell me where you work because I never want to work there!! My experience of working in IT is more like how KaiHH describes it.
Happy few)
And maybe you even don’t work 10-12 hours a day + Weekends In Deadline
Dream Land ^^
p.s On every successful story- at least 1000 not so successful ^^
(Like Story about Fable Development)

Last known State: Reassembled in Cyberspace
End Transmission....
..
.
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