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  Programmer jokes  (Read 116928 times)
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Online Slyth2727
« Reply #120 - Posted 2014-11-22 19:21:30 »

Recursion

Just click it. Gotta love Google.
Offline Drenius
« Reply #121 - Posted 2014-11-24 15:42:01 »

http://bad.solutions
Offline Matth59

Junior Devvie


Medals: 8
Exp: 7-9 months


Excuse for the veeeery bad english, i'm Italian.


« Reply #122 - Posted 2014-11-26 17:45:59 »

A programmer is told to "go to hell", he finds the worst part of that statement is the "go to" Roll Eyes Grin

Search me on Steam as Matth!
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Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Offline HeroesGraveDev

JGO Kernel


Medals: 382
Projects: 11
Exp: 4 years


┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


« Reply #123 - Posted 2014-11-26 22:36:19 »

Found this on Reddit:

Offline gzuzboey
« Reply #124 - Posted 2014-11-26 22:42:05 »


YA BOI
Offline SHC
« Reply #125 - Posted 2014-11-27 05:02:07 »

I belong to the third type, programmers who hate multi line comments.

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if (condition)
{
    statements;
    //
    // ...
    //
}

Offline Jacob Pickens
« Reply #126 - Posted 2014-11-27 05:55:05 »



Had this sitting on my hard drive. (Sorry forgot how to resize images. Undecided)

Offline Chequered

Senior Newbie


Medals: 1
Exp: 2 years


I could use a cup of Java.


« Reply #127 - Posted 2014-11-28 19:35:59 »

top kek
Offline boxsmith
« Reply #128 - Posted 2014-12-02 04:32:17 »

It's kinda biased.
Offline BurntPizza

« JGO Bitwise Duke »


Medals: 485
Exp: 7 years



« Reply #129 - Posted 2014-12-02 04:37:09 »

Ah, stereotypes... the pinnacle of humor.

I myself prefer statictypes >.>
Games published by our own members! Check 'em out!
Legends of Yore - The Casual Retro Roguelike
Online Slyth2727
« Reply #130 - Posted 2014-12-02 05:45:42 »

Had this sitting on my hard drive. (Sorry forgot how to resize images. Undecided)

To be honest that isn't even legit syntax and is more self explanatory than programmer singular. Should be something more like

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if((ComputerKnowledge)(you.getKnowledgeBase()).understands(this))
   you.getAttributes().setNeedsSO(true);


It's 1 am and I still haven't done 2 essays that are due tomorrow. Got 1 finished as well as some other homework, but I must forge on! Goodnight JGO.

Edit:
C++ makes things even better/worse. It's a love hate thing okay.

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bool (HumanAttribs::*needsSO)(Human*);
needsSO = &HumanAttribs::GetUtils()::CalcNerdiness;

if(needsSO(this))
   std::cout << "Please get a life." << std::cout;


Because why not have obfuscated, needlessly complicated code?
Offline HeroesGraveDev

JGO Kernel


Medals: 382
Projects: 11
Exp: 4 years


┬─┬ノ(ಠ_ಠノ)(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻


« Reply #131 - Posted 2014-12-02 06:31:56 »

I would like to point out that expressing lame "jokes" in code does not make them any funnier.

And being pedantic about the code representation of a lame joke is even less funny.

No offense to anyone.

Online Slyth2727
« Reply #132 - Posted 2014-12-02 06:37:36 »

I was being stupid on purpose if you couldn't tell  Roll Eyes
I know you couldn't. Sorry.
Offline matheus23

JGO Kernel


Medals: 138
Projects: 3


You think about my Avatar right now!


« Reply #133 - Posted 2014-12-28 15:26:15 »

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// Some code
:wq

A file my brother wrote

See my:
    My development Blog:     | Or look at my RPG | Or simply my coding
http://matheusdev.tumblr.comRuins of Revenge  |      On Github
Offline SHC
« Reply #134 - Posted 2014-12-28 15:47:33 »

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// Some code
:wq

A file my brother wrote

You reminded me of VIM man, that's the same thing I did when I was learning  persecutioncomplex Roll Eyes

Offline MrPizzaCake

Senior Devvie


Medals: 8
Exp: 3 years


Hello, another wonderful human being :)


« Reply #135 - Posted 2014-12-31 03:34:46 »

There are 10 types of people. Those who know binary, those who don't, those who didn't expect it to be base 3 joke, and those who realized it can be a base 4 joke.

Seriously though, this joke is so easy to expand.

How am I? Tough question, since emotions are confusing as heck Tongue
Offline BurntPizza

« JGO Bitwise Duke »


Medals: 485
Exp: 7 years



« Reply #136 - Posted 2014-12-31 03:50:49 »

I'd call it a Peano joke!
Offline Riven
Administrator

« JGO Overlord »


Medals: 1313
Projects: 4
Exp: 16 years


Hand over your head.


« Reply #137 - Posted 2014-12-31 08:24:49 »

... and those that never get first base.



I'll see myself out, once again Emo

Hi, appreciate more people! Σ ♥ = ¾
Learn how to award medals... and work your way up the social rankings!
Offline Tekkerue

Senior Devvie


Medals: 7
Projects: 1



« Reply #138 - Posted 2015-01-03 21:06:08 »

... and those that never get first base.
LOL Grin Grin Grin
Offline philfrei
« Reply #139 - Posted 2015-05-29 19:42:23 »

An adult asks a child: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
The child says: "a game programmer!"
To which, the adult responds: "I'm sorry, but you are going to have to choose."

music and music apps: http://adonax.com
Offline CodeHead

JGO Knight


Medals: 52


From rags to riches...to rags.


« Reply #140 - Posted 2015-05-29 20:00:14 »

Not exactly programming, but still pretty descriptive of my mindset when I approach a new problem:

A physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer were asked to establish the volume of a metal sphere. The physicist immersed it in a beaker full of water and measured the volume of the displaced fluid. The mathematician measured the diameter and calculated the volume as a triple integral. The engineer went to the vendor's website and found the spec sheet.

Arthur: Are all men from the future loud-mouthed braggarts?
Ash: Nope. Just me baby...Just me.
Offline ags1

JGO Kernel


Medals: 356
Projects: 7


Make code not war!


« Reply #141 - Posted 2015-05-29 22:35:22 »

Debugging tools are a godsend sometimes, and I pray to whatever man created them.

Her name is Grace Hopper.

                                                                                                                   

Offline BurntPizza

« JGO Bitwise Duke »


Medals: 485
Exp: 7 years



« Reply #142 - Posted 2015-05-29 22:37:44 »

Please ignore: Some words to satisfy the 90% non-quote rule. Blah blah.

Tip for posterity: whitespace counts as non-quote.
Offline craftm

JGO Coder


Medals: 15
Projects: 1


_Keep Trying


« Reply #143 - Posted 2015-05-30 02:33:32 »

I don't know if this works in your language.

In my language, "make a program" has the same meaning of "what prostitutes do".
So, we usually call each other like "program guys".

Here a picture of us searching a java/c++ job.


_ Wink
Offline KevinWorkman

« JGO Plugged Duke »


Medals: 265
Projects: 12
Exp: 12 years


HappyCoding.io - Coding Tutorials!


« Reply #144 - Posted 2015-05-30 13:36:04 »

In my language, "make a program" has the same meaning of "what prostitutes do".
So, we usually call each other like "program guys".

Thaaaaat is hilarious. What language?

HappyCoding.io - Coding Tutorials!
Happy Coding forum - Come say hello!
Offline teletubo
Global Moderator

JGO Wizard


Medals: 75
Projects: 4
Exp: 8 years



« Reply #145 - Posted 2015-05-30 15:55:12 »

In my language, "make a program" has the same meaning of "what prostitutes do".
So, we usually call each other like "program guys".

Thaaaaat is hilarious. What language?

hue hue hue brbr (brazilian portuguese, I assume)

Offline Zeta

Junior Devvie


Medals: 8
Exp: 1 year



« Reply #146 - Posted 2015-05-30 23:52:12 »

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good.

A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it. -Albert Einstein
Offline MrPizzaCake

Senior Devvie


Medals: 8
Exp: 3 years


Hello, another wonderful human being :)


« Reply #147 - Posted 2015-05-31 19:00:14 »

A user interface is like a joke. If you have to explain it, it’s not that good.

Now THAT'S a one I haven't seen in a while Cheesy

How am I? Tough question, since emotions are confusing as heck Tongue
Offline DarkCart

JGO Kernel


Medals: 121
Projects: 9
Exp: 50 years


It's all in the mind, y'know.


« Reply #148 - Posted 2015-05-31 20:25:33 »

This one made me laugh Cheesy


The darkest of carts.
Offline DarkCart

JGO Kernel


Medals: 121
Projects: 9
Exp: 50 years


It's all in the mind, y'know.


« Reply #149 - Posted 2015-06-30 23:29:28 »


The darkest of carts.
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