Ok. I've submitted to every site that was suggested and here are my results so far:
www.i-am-bored.com and
www.jayisgames.com I haven't heard a thing from. Either they haven't gotten to my submission yet or have rejected it.
www.heavygames.com has a 20 day wait, but i'm confident i'll get on the site and get some decent traffic.
www.milkandcookies.com has sent about 100 people to my site, but after a day my link was deleted so that's all from that.
http://www.millionsofgames.com/ has sent me about 20 people.
The topsites I have submitted to usually send me an average of a person a day.
User moderated sites (digg,reddit) have sent me about 10 hits each, it's worth posting links there but unless you have something that stands out it's probably not going anywhere.
Interestingly enough i'm getting the most hits from
http://www.ollo.net/. over 200 so far and i'm still on the front page. I didn't submit my game there so they must have just seen it somewhere else and liked it. I guess that's what you have to hope for in the end, it takes a lot of time looking for ways to drive traffic and it's much easier when someone does it for you,
Thanks for the advice and I hope what i've learned helps someone.