solution found.. but man this is weird!
ok.. here goes
if you want to support a mac you MUST EXPLICITLY select version 3.2 CORE
.. oh wait you say.. but i thought opengl version 4.1 is the highest it supports..
Well your right.. and guess what.. when you pick 3.2 it will give you a 4.1 implementation in return
this is verifiable by using glGetString(GL_Version) .. so .. the real way to find out what version you have access to on a mac is to first select 3.2 then test the string value to see what you really get. (face palm..#1)
now if you actually try to request a GL Context using 4 as the major and 1 as the minor.. DING.. you get version 2.1 .. you MUST use 3.2.
and now for those that have put up with my rant.. some useful code
PixelFormat pixelFormat = new PixelFormat();
ContextAttribs attribs = new ContextAttribs(3,2).withProfileCore(true);